Popular Joke
A chinese call centre Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan! Operator: Yes, you can speak to me. Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan ! Operator : Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this? Caller : I'm Sam Wan . And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now , Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I'm Saw Ree . Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!! Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ... Caller: O h .......God!!! ! Venkatesh Hariharan
favorite of (20) members- santa:(to his friend banta): my wife is afraid of water. Banta: how can u say that? Santa: yesterday when i reached my home i found her in the bath tub with our security guard....... santa-banta
favorite of (17) members - A kid asked the priest, "Father, what is your pastime?" The priest tapped the kid's shoulder and replied, "Nun, my child, nun". Anon
favorite of (13) members - Teacher : What do you want to become? Lil Johnny : Doctor!! Teacher : Why? Lil Johnny : 'Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it. Anon
favorite of (10) members - Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other. Santa singh : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?' Banta singh : 'Yes, I have' Santa singh : 'Well, my father dug it.' Banta singh : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?' Santa singh : 'Yes, I have.' Banta singh : 'Well, my father killed it.'parents
favorite of (10) members - Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview go?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.Sardarji
favorite of (9) members - Teacher's Day Joke On a special Teacher's Day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving Teacher Day gifts. The Florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it and held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is....some flowers." "That's right!" said the boy. "But how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy storeowner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy." "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor storeowner's son. The teacher held it over her head but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppy!"Anon
favorite of (9) members - An Arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint. "Your name plz" "Abdul Aziz" "Sex?" "Six times a week!!" "No, no, I mean male or female!" "Doesn't matter, sometimes camel" Anon
favorite of (8) members - In a job interview for policemen the applicants are shown a profile picture of a man, and the interviewer says, "The job that you're applying for requires powers of observation. Make one observation about this man." The first applicant enters and says, "This man has just one ear." "Get out!!" screams the interviewer. The second applicant enters and says, "This man has one ear." "Get out!!" screams the interviewer again. Then the third applicant gets up to go in for his interview. The first two guys are out there and they tell him, "The guy that's giving the interview doesn't like to hear that the man in the picture has one ear." "Thanks for the tip" says the third applicant. So the third applicant enters, stares at the picture for a while and finally he says, "This man wears contact lenses." The interviewer is impressed and says, "Excellent observation. Tell me, how could you tell?" So the guy says, "Well, this man has just one ear, how could he wear glasses?" Anon
favorite of (8) members - A Sardar, a German and an American got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain. The American was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the American was also led away whimpering loudly. The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked. Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the American to my back" !!! KHABARDAR KISINE AB SE SARDAR KA MAZAAK UDAAYA TO !!! HE HE HE
favorite of (8) members - Three Sardarjis went for a tour to singapore . They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel. After taking rest they started for a local visit. While leaving the hotel, the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before 10.00pm or else lift will not be available and they have to take the steps for which they agreed and went out. After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30. Since lift was not available, they decided to take the stairways under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that lasts for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble. After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said," I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only". Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor. Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story. The third one said, "I forgot the room key which is on the manager's table". They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said," I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end". They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said, " The keys were in my pocket only". With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor. After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said, " I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only". Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied: .... gyanendra
favorite of (8) members - dalne laga mai cheekhne lagi wo ,
hua dard itna ki sah na saki wo,
takhlif uai itni ke boli bahar nikalo,
khuda ke waste plz is se bada dalo,
!!kangan!!
favorite of (7) members - Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible." Anon
favorite of (7) members - Copying an idea from an author is plagiarism. Copying many ideas from many authors is research.Work Joke
favorite of (7) members - My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs. me
favorite of (6) members - A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Someone else's pants".Anon
favorite of (6) members - A cute & innocent joke As the thief was leaving the house, the child woke up & said 2 the thief " Take my School bag also otherwise I'll wake up my mom"Sneha
favorite of (6) members - Village of India, one masterji is teaching the 'krishnajanma' part of Mahabharat Katha to class 6 students. Masterji: 'Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars. First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning... Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak Third one is born...' Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)! 'Ramu bete, whole india does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come u have one?' Ramu: Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ? Masterji fainted.....no answer.....Doubts
favorite of (6) members - Do u know what surdarji will do after taking xerox ? he will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !! Sardar takes xerox Do u know what surdarji will do if he wants a white paper ? (he already has one and he wants one more..) He takes a Xerox of the white paper !!!Sardar Checks Spellings
favorite of (6) members - "Dad, can you write in the dark?" "I think so. What is it you want me to write?" "Your name on this report card." Anon
favorite of (6) members A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her studens in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
Unknown
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!"
Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the 4th grade."
Madam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.
Madam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of"?
Boy, after a moment "Legs."
Madam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands
Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it, u have to use urhand.
Boy.: Fork
Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME.
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to
Indian Institue of Management,
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!".
favorite of (6) members- IN WHICH PLACE MEN & WOMEN BOTH HAVE CURLY HAIR?
THINK.............
THINK............
THINK............
YOU DIRTY MIND, ALWAYS THINKING SO VULGUR......
ITS IN AFRICATED
favorite of (5) members
Once there lived a very beautiful nurse.......................
..................................................................................................................................................................................................
Now she is no more.
favorite of (5) membersINDIA IS NOT A CORRUPT COUNTRY
favorite of (5) members- Teacher: "If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" Boy: "Somebody else's pants." Anon
favorite of (5) members
© 1998-2008 Copyright Sulekha.com Connecting Indians Worldwide, All Rights Reserved.
