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    INCOME TAX TOTALLY WAIVED OFF IN THE BUDGET 2008-09 BECAUSE OUR LEADERS HAVE DECLARED THEIR WEALTH HENCE NO NEED TO COLLECT ANY TAXES - by PAWAN PARADISE
    Posted 26 Mar 2008 & favorite of (4) members
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    PINK CURTAINS
     
    A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman,
    "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
    The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of
    pink curtains. He shows her several patterns, but the blonde
    seems to be having a hard time choosing. Finally she selects
    a lovely pink floral print. 
    The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.
    The blonde promptly replies, "fifteen inches."
    "Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small,
    What room are they for?"
    The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room; they are for
    her computer monitor.
    The surprised salesman replies, "but Miss, computers do not
    need curtains!"
    The blonde says, "Hellllooooooooo .... I've got Windoooooows!"
     
     

     

     - Received through HARSH OBEROI, USA by ARVIND NARVEKAR
    Posted 25 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Albert Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others" he is told by the doorman. Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants.


    "See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!"  
    "Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"  

    "And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!"
    "Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"  

    "And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!"
    "That Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!"  

    Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 70."  


    Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where do you think the stock market is headed?"

     

     - Udhayan Mukherjee - CNBC by Alex De Large
    Posted 25 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Find out joke library



    http://kokila.co.uk/comedy.aspx



    Comedy, Humor, Jokes, Funnies, Comic .... Libraries.     - by kokila-co-uk
    Posted 22 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Santa arrived at the podium of the researchers theater where scientists from all over the world had assembled. He simply opened up a jar, took out a frog and placed it on the table. 



    he said to the frog, "jump!" astonishingly, the frog did jump. Santa repeated this exercise for 5 times. All the time, the frog jumped. 



    Now santa took out a knife and cut one of the four legs of the frog and said, "Jump!"



    Surprising, the frog jumped. Santa went on cutting the other legs also and said jump. To everyone's amazement, the frog jumped even when it had only one leg.



    Now, Santa with a cruel smile on this face cut the last leg of the frog and said, "Jump!". the frog did not. He shouted, yelled, screamed but the frog did not jump.



    Santa concluded his presentation. When everyone wanted to know the outcome, Santa replied, "Simple! when a frog loses its fourth leg, it loses its hearing power too!"



     - Gopalkrishanan by Gopalkrishanan
    Posted 22 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Here is a joke that one of my friends sent me and which I am reproducing :



    An Indian corporate employee went to another town  on a temporary company assignment and was comfortably lodged in one of the star hotels having a P.C. with internet  . Immediately on arrival he sent an e-mail to his wife but in the excitement mis-spelt a single alphabet in the address column of id.



    A lady who returned home after attending  her husband's funeral in Houston eagerly opened up her mail box to check the condolences her relatives and friends would have sent and soon after reading the message swooned. Her son who rushed in to the computer room to see as to what happened was aghast on seeing this message on the screen:-



    Dear Sweetie, Arrived safe. Doesn't take much of a time as the  passage through air is much faster. Can't thank you enough for what ever you did at my departure.It is quite cozy here  with a lot of  decent people and I am allowed to access the  computer which they have provided in every room . I  have made all arrangements for your journey next friday and you can join me and feel what really is paradise ! Waiting eagerly for your arrival !.     - by Krishnan Bala
    Posted 20 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    A simple question ""



    Question:What is the fullform of MATHS.





    Answer:     Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students
    - by Mystic waters
    Posted 18 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Another one here....""



    Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"

    Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time." 



    Teacher: How old is ur father.

    Sunny:As old as I am.



    Teacher:How is it possible?

    Sunny:He became father only after I was born.         - by Mystic waters
    Posted 18 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Dis is a laugh ""



    Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age? 



    STUDENT:32 yrs. 



    Teacher:How do you know?

     

    STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.     - by Mystic waters
    Posted 18 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Lover:"Darling you are one in a million."

    Loved one: "But I heard you are after your second million of late?"     - Seshu BSR Chamarty by SESHU CHAMARTY
    Posted 18 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    NOTHING CAN BEAT THIS STORY....



    A MAN COMITING SUICIDE,



    SOMEONE ASK THE REASON..



    HE SAYS "MY LOVER RAN WAWY WITH MY FRIEND & I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT MY FRIEND."





    SO ONCE AGAIN GUYS BELIEVE YOUR FRIENDS BUT DONT BELIEVE YOUR LOVER....................     - TED by TED NORMAN
    Posted 17 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    LOVE IS POSSIBLE AFTER FRIENDSHIP,



    BUT FRIENDSHIP IS NOT POSSIBLE AFTER LOVE,



    B'COS MEDICINES WORK BEFORE DEATH,



    NOT POSSIBLE AFTER DEATH............





    SO GUYS NEVER BELIEVE ANY GIRL.......................     - TED by TED NORMAN
    Posted 17 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    UNHE BHOOLNE KI KOSHISH KI MAINE,



    DIL NE KAHA YAAD KARTE REHNA,



    WOH  HAMARE DARD KI FARIYAD SUNE NA SUNE,



    APNA TO FARZ HAIN UNHE YAAD KARTE RAHNA...............


     - TED by TED NORMAN
    Posted 17 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    DOOR SE HI WOH SALAAM KAR GAYE,



    APNI YADON KA HAME GULAM KAR GAYE,



    KHAREEDA THA JINHE APNI SAANSE GIRVI RAKH KAR,



    WOH HI HAMEIN NEELAM KAR GAYE...........     - TED by TED NORMAN
    Posted 17 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    BE HAPPY TODAY,



    JUST ENJOY TODAY,



    FREAK OUT TODAY,



    LIVE FREELY TODAY,



    HAVE FUN TODAY,



    COZ WHO KNOWS..!



    YOU MIGHT FALL IN LOVE TOMORROW,,,,,,


     - TED by TED NORMAN
    Posted 17 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    ARJ KIYA HAI......



    ZINDAGI GUJAR JAYE PAR PYAR KAM NA HO,



    YAAD HAME RAKHNA CHAHE PAAS HUM NA HO,



    QAYAMAT TAK CHALTA RAHE YE DOSTI KA SAFAR,



    DUA KARO RAB SE YEH DOSTI KHATAM NA HO.............

     - TED by TED NORMAN
    Posted 17 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    TEACHER ASK QUESTION TO SARDAR.,



    "WHICH IS THE BIG ANIMAL,

    ANT OR ELEPHANT?'



    SARDAR:

                   "FIRST TELL DATE OF BIRTH OF THOSE ANIMALS"...............     - TED by TED NORMAN
    Posted 17 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    THIS JOKE IS DEDICATED TO ALL MY SARDAR BROTHERS



    ONCE ONE SARDAR CALLS HIS WIFE

    "GHAR NAHI AA SAKTA, CAR KA STEERING, GEAR, CLUTCH,ACCELERATOR SAB CHORI HO GAYA HAI.'



    AFTER 5minutes HE CALLS AGAIN & TELLS HIS WIFE "AA RAHA HUIN, PEHLE GALTI SE PICHLI SEAT PE BAUTHA THA."..................          - TED by TED NORMAN
    Posted 17 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    VICHITRA HAI MAGAR SATYA HAI



    BHAKT JANO!!!!!



    Ek samay ki baat hai Lakshmi ji ka vahan Ullu unse ruth gaya aur

    bola

    "...Aapki sab puja karte hain par mujhe koi nahi puchhta..."



    Lakshmi ji boli

    "Ab se har saal meri puja se 11 din pehle tumhari puja hogi...."

    "Us din sab Ullu pujey jayenge."



    Tabhi se Diwali ke pehle us din ko

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    KARVA CHAUTH ke naam se manaya jaata hai.....



    JAI HO!!!!!!


     - by PAWAN PARADISE
    Posted 17 Mar 2008 & favorite of (2) members
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    Patel  Bhai......


        
        There was once a Gujarati Bhai Patel, owning a shop, living in USA,
      and he was involved in a car accident.
      
      
       
      At the hospital, when he awoke,
     he called for the nurse to find out what had happened to him.
      
      I'm very sorry, sir, but you were involved in a very bad car crash.
      
         
      
      "Car crash! My Corolla!!
     Is my car all right?" he asked hysterically.
      
      "Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries -
     you lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save it,"
     she said apologetically.
      
        
      
      "I lost my arm?
     My Swiss Watch! My Swiss Watch!!"
      
       
      
      
      "Sir, please calm down.
     That is the least of your worries.
     You are in a very critical condition,
     but all your family is here to see you."
      
      He asked for his family to be called in.
     As they gathered around the bed, he called for each of them by name.
      
      "Alpa, are you here?"
      
        
      "I am here dear, and I will never leave you", said Mrs.Patel.
      
       
      
      "Diness, are you here?"
      
        
      "I am here father, and I will never leave you."
      
        
      
      "Kalpess, are you here?"
        
      
      "I am here father, and I will never leave you."
      
        
      
      "Kamless, my son, are you here?"
        
      
      "I am here father, and I will never leave you."
      
        
      
      "Paress, my child, are you here too?"
        
      
      "I am here father, and I will never leave you."
      
      "Well" said patel thoughtfully,
     "Alpa, Diness, Kalpess, Paress and Kamless are here...
     and if all of you are here...,
     ...
     ...
     ...
     THEN WHO THE HELL IS IN THE SHOP!!!!!????"
      
     
     
     
     (KIRAN)
         
     

               - Got this through Kiran Kripalani by ARVIND NARVEKAR
    Posted 17 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    What can you serve but not eat?

    A tennis ball.     - by atishaysamuel
    Posted 16 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    What do chicken expect at the theatre?

    Hentertainment.
     - by atishaysamuel
    Posted 16 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    What do yoou call a man who owes money?

    Bill.     - by atishaysamuel
    Posted 16 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Did  you hear about the Frechman who hated snails?

    He liked fast food.     - by atishaysamuel
    Posted 16 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Why was the taxi driver lonely?

     

    Because he drove all his customers away.     - by atishaysamuel
    Posted 16 Mar 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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