Latest Joke
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12 Things Not to Say to a Cop
- by nomita26- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
- Aren't you the guy from the laloo Village ?
- Hey, you must've been doin' about 12o km to keep up with me. Good job!
- Are you Guddu or Ramu?
- I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
- You're not gonna check the trunk are you?
- I pay your salary!
- Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too!
- Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
- I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
- When the Officer says "...Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?", you probably shouldn't respond with, " Officer your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating donuts?"
Posted 02 Jun 2008 & favorite of (1) members - I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
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Teacher*: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
Sardar: lara dutta marries Brian lara and she becomes lara lara - joke by suman agrawal
Posted 02 Jun 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
Sardar*: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml
Now it's 1.5 ltr.
- joke by suman agrawal
Posted 02 Jun 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.
2.Weakness:Banta' s wife,Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat:When I am on tour
- joke by suman agrawal
Posted 02 Jun 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
A donkey kicked sardar & ran away **
Sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said
'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.
- joke by suman agrawal
Posted 02 Jun 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
SARDAR talking on cell.
2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... Pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. . .
- joke by suman agrawal
Posted 02 Jun 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
?????????? ?? ??????? ??? ????? ?? ?? ???? ???? ??? ??, "???? ???? ???" ????? ?? ????, "??? ???? ??? ????" ?? ???? ??? ???? ?? ????? - joke by suman agrawal
Posted 02 Jun 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
hi people..
you shall go mad reading this ....its so true! i was in splits...
You are Indian if...
1. Everything you eat is savored In garlic, onion and
tomatoes.
2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of
course aluminum foil.
3. You try to eject food particles from between your
teeth by pressing your tongue against them and making a
peculiar noise like, tshick, tshick, tschick, tschick.
4. You are standing next to the two largest size
suitcases at the Airport.
5. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and
think its normal.
6. You peel the stamps off letters that the Pos Service missed to
mark up.
7. You recycle Wedding Gifts.
8. You name your children in rhythms (example, Honey &
Money, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam.)
9. All your children have pet names, which sound
nowhere close to their real names.
10. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food
Allowed"
11. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving
someone's house.
12. You load up the family car with as many people as
possible.
13. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house
whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new
couch.
14. Your parents tell you to not care what your friends
think but they won't let you do certain things because
of what the other "Uncles And Aunties" will think.
15. You buy and display crockery, which is for special
occasions, which never happen.
16. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
17. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
18. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many
numbers of bowls as possible.
19. Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars, varieties
of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with some
household items).
20. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you
travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15
minutes).
21. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
22. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
23. You majored in engineering, medicine or law and
now........are after Software and only Software no
matter which field you belong to.
24. You live with your parents and you are 40 years
old. (And they prefer it that way).
25. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
26. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you
didn't pay tax.
27. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
28. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least
to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling
by bus, train or plane.
30. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
31. If you don't live at home, when your parents call,
they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
32. You call an older person you never met before
"uncle."
33. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few
minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant
cousin.
34. Your parents don't realise phone connections to
foreign countries have improved in the last two decades,
and still scream at the top of their lungs when making
foreign calls.
35. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep
them away from getting dirty.
36. When dining out, you think Rs 10 is enough of a
tip.
37. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600
people.
38. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the
matrimonial no matter what she looks like.
39. You treat the NRI persons (especially from America)
as if they are the only persons living in this world
(including YOU).
40. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of
a train.
41. All your tupperware is stained with food color.
42. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
43. You have mastered the art of bargaining in
shopping.
44. You have really enjoyed reading this blog.
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- indianbhai by
aslambhai
Posted 01 Jun 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
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FRIEND:
Kissing a woman at her FOREHEAD is Respect
At her LIPS is Love
CHEEKis Heroism
NECK is Lust
BUT KISSING HER IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND IS BRAVERY.
- JOKE by suman agrawal
Posted 31 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
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That same stupid guy called again
- joke by suman agrawalThe Burnt EarsOne day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what hadhappened to his ears as both ears covered with bandages.
He said: "I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead ofpicking up the phone, i pick up the iron, so i burnt my ear."
The man asked "So what happened to your other ear?"
He said "That same stupid guy called again
Posted 31 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
Hot and Cold
- joke by suman agrawalA man goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk "what is that shiny object"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask"
The man then asks, " What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "it keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.
The man sys "I'll take it."
The next day, he goes to his office with his new thermos. His boss sees
Him and asks. What is that shiny object with you?"
He said "its thermos flask"
The boss then sys " what does it do?"
He replies it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold
The boss said " wow what do you have in it?"
The man replies " Two cups of coffee and a coke"
Posted 31 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
2 SARDAR BANK LUTNE GAYE PER GUN LEJANA BHUL GAYE FIR BHI BANK LUT LIYA KAISE ?
BANK MANAGER BHI SARDAR THA....
BANK MANAGER BOLA KAL YAAD SE AA K GUN DIKHA JANA...... - CHIRAG by C A SARVAIYA
Posted 30 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
Why men pass wind louder ?
Ans:Men have
Microphone and 2 Speakers - anon by SESHU CHAMARTY
Posted 30 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
Women's secret
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody!!!!!!!11 - by jsavita
Posted 30 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
patient - doc, doc my nose is running
doc - then better go fast and catch it - by Radhi kundran
Posted 29 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
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Manmohan Singh in his speech " Yay sab Sonia ji kay haath ka kamaal hai. Nahi tau is umer may mera khada hona mushkil tha". - by Bobbyusm
Posted 20 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
Love Vs Marriage- Pioneer by Pioneer7225
Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac.Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”Conclusion: “Love is blind , Marriage is an eye opener!”
Posted 17 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide…..
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.
Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!
The ‘climax’ finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
- Pioneer by Pioneer7225
Posted 17 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members -
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
- From the Internet by Sunila KarirThought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on
Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Posted 16 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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