Latest Joke

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    1f 10%of road accidents are due to drunken driving then it is same as 90% accidents happen with drivers not drinking and driving.

    - by SESHU CHAMARTY
    Posted 16 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    A thief broke into a house one night and pointed a gun at the wife sleeping on the bed. He asked her what was her name and she said, Gloria. He lowered the gun and said he would not kill a woman with that name as his mother too was Gloria too. He pointed the gun at the husband lying beside her. He blurted out "George, but people call me Gloria."

    - by SESHU CHAMARTY
    Posted 16 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    One day a fellow died and friends talked about how he never touched wine, never moved with women, not gambled and kept to himself always. A programmer was passing by and quipped, 'Hey folks!  Technically the man has not died-- for death happens only when life is there."

    - Inspired by SESHU CHAMARTY
    Posted 16 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Masochist to sadist: "Hurt me, please".


    Sadist replies with ironic smile: "Noway!"



    Got it???!

    - joyarjun1 by Data Admin
    Posted 16 May 2008 & favorite of (2) members
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    fdffsdfasfa - by Data Admin
    Posted 16 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    test - test by ShriKumaran
    Posted 15 May 2008 & favorite of (3) members
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    dbvgfgdfgdf - by Kerin
    Posted 15 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Teacher : Santa batao ‘M’ for kya hota hai?
    Santa : Sir, Mother!
    Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
    Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
    Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
    Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?
    - by Hem2008
    Posted 15 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    hhjdjsjdj - by Rao Langoju
    Posted 14 May 2008 & favorite of (2) members
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    The wife of a new married couple came in the house screaming, "darling! i wanna you to fire the driver at once!. he drives so rash. you know, he almost killed me thrice in accidents"



    the husband said, "honey! dont be haste! let us give him another chance!"
    - Gopal by Gopalkrishanan
    Posted 14 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    jinn: hukum akka?

    man : ghar se dubai tak tak road banao.

    jinn : muskil hai.koi aur kaam batao.....

    man : meri wife ko samajhdar bana do...

    jinn : road single banani hai double....
    - rakesh tgt by rakesh tgt
    Posted 13 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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     : How does the Bong learn the alphabet?

    A : A for Orange, B for Bhegetable.... :



    Q : How does a Bong relax in the evening?

    A : He goes to the Howrah Breez to get some Brij. :



    Q : What does the Bong do first in the morning?

    A : After baking up from hees slip, he removes the bed-shit. :

    Q: What did a Bengali voyeur say to another?

    A: Keyhollo?



    Q: What do u call a firebrand Bong?

    A: Gun-goli.
    - by summaiyaparveen
    Posted 12 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    On teachers day. A teacher was receiving gifts from her class. A boy whose father is a flourist gave the teacher a gift. The teacher asked "I can guess what this gift is, is it flowers". The boy replied "Yes, how did u know"? "JUst a lucky guess" the teacher said. Next a boy whose father Owns a perfume shop. THe teacher said again " I think i can guess what this is, is it perfume". The boy replied "Yes, how did u know? "Just a lucky guess". the teacher said again. Next a boy whose father sells vine. She saw that there was a leakage in the gift and that it was dripping. She took a drop by her finger and tasted it. She asked "Is it vine"? The boy answered "No" She took another taste and asked "Is it champagne"? The boy again said "No". 

    The teacher gave up and asked "So what is it"?. The boy replied "IT'S A PUPPY".   

    - by atishaysamuel
    Posted 10 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Teacher: What kind of liquid can't freeze?

    Pupil: Hot water. 

    - by atishaysamuel
    Posted 10 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    There was a lady who was driving a car. She had driven 16 hous straight, and still had 6 hours left till she reached her destination. It was early in the morning she was very tired. She pulled over and started sleeping. Just when she was about to sleep a man jogging came to her and knocked at the window. He said "Sorry to wake u, but do u know the time". She replied "Yes, it's 8:15" The man thanked her and left. She put her head down and again just as she was about to sleep, another jogger came to her car and knocked at the window. He asked "Sorry to wake u do u know the time". She replied again "Yes, it's 8:19". She realized that she had parked her car in a jogging lane. Just then she saw another bunch of joggers comming. She stepped out of he car and stuck a poster on her car saying I don't know the time. She started sleeping. Again she heard a knock on her window. She shouted out "Can't u read I don't know the time". The man said "I want you to know that it is 8:30.   

    - by atishaysamuel
    Posted 10 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Q;  elephant ravatam chusi ant chettu pakkana enduku dhaakkundi?                                                                                                                                                                        Answer; leg addam petti elephant ni padedhaamani.

    - by kittu1001
    Posted 09 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    lalitkumar - by arunkumar1
    Posted 09 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    IF THE MOVIE TITANIC WAS MADE IN INDIA THEN: 1. THERE WOULD BE 10 TIMES AS MANY PEOPLE ON THE SHIP. 2. THE SHIP WOULD SINK FROM THE WEIGHT OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAD BOARDED THE SHIP WITHOUT TICKETS. 3. THERE WOULD BE A SONG WITH ASHWARIYA RAI IN A WHITE SAREE, STANDING AT THE BOW OF THE SHIP AND SINGING IN THE RAIN. 4. BY THE END OF THE MOVIE THE HERO WOULD HAVE CO-INCIDENTALLY FOUND HIS LONG LOST MOM, DAD, SISTER, TWIN BROTHER AND CHILDHOOD FRIEND. 5. IT WOULD BE A SEVEN-AND-HALF-HOUR MOVIE WITH THREE INTERVALS. 6. THE MOVIE WOULD BE CALLED "PYAAR KIYA TO MARNA KYA" OR PKTMK FOR SHORT!!! 7. THE HERO, HEROINE, HIS MOM, DAD, SISTER AND BROTHER WILL FLOAT IN THE COLD WATER FOR DAYS AND YET SURVIVE. 8. THE VILLAIN WILL DROWN IN THE FIRST DROP OF WATER. 9. THE ICEBERG WOULD HAVE BEEN SENT BY THE HEROINE'S FATHER TO TEACH A LESSON TO THE HERO (SHAHRUKH KHAN, NATURALLY). 10. NONE OF THE FEMALES WOULD FLOAT FOR LONG BECAUSE OF THE SARIS BUT THE HEROINE (ASHWARIYA, OF COURSE) WOULD HAVE SURVIVED AS SHE WOULD HAVE USED HER SARI TO MAKE A BIG BANDAGE FOR THE HERO'S BLEEDING HEAD. 11. THE ORCHESTRA WOULD HAVE BEEN PLAYING A QAWAALI SONG AND THE SHIP WOULD ONLY START TO SINK AFTER THE SONG ENDS... 12. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MANY TIMES WE WOULD HEAR "BACHAOOOO!!! BACHAOOOOO!!!"? - vivekthemaster by ashone
    Posted 08 May 2008 & favorite of (5) members
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    A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her studens in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"

    Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!"

    Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his

    questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

    the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

    Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

    Boy.: "9".

    Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

    Boy.: "36".

    And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the 4th grade."

    Madam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.

    Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.

    Madam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of"?

    Boy, after a moment "Legs."

    Madam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

    Boy.: "Pockets."



    Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,

    delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

    Boy.: Coconut

    Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

    The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

    Boy.: Bubblegum

    Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

    The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

    Boy.: Shake hands

    Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

    Boy.: Tent

    Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

    The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

    Boy.: Wedding Ring

    Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

    Boy.: Nose

    Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

    Boy.: Arrow

    Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

    Boy.: Firetruck

    Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it, u have to use urhand.

    Boy.: Fork

    Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

    Boy.: SURNAME.

    Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

    Boy.: HEART.

    The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

    "Send this Boy to
    Indian Institue of Management,
    I got the last ten questions wrong myself!".

    - Unknown by ashone
    Posted 08 May 2008 & favorite of (6) members
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    If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!

    Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
      
    - by kothariravi
    Posted 08 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    Bumper offer Send me 99 SMS, adn Win 10 lakhs ki car li photo, 29" tv ka dibba, USA jane wale aroplane ko TATA karne ka mouka, aur mere sath dinner woh bhi apki ghar. !!!!! - by Gautamsinha
    Posted 08 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    A flight boarded full of politicians took off but had to air-crash due to some technical snag. The plane air-crashed near a farm land. All the villagers gathered there and started digging as to bury the politicians.



    By the time the news reached and Government servants arrived, all of them were buried.



    One of the officers asked, "did all of them die? Not a single one survivied?"



    The farmer replied, "Some of them told us that they are alive. but you know how these politicians lie. so we did not take a chance!"



    from the book Freedom is not Free penned by Shiv Khera

    - by Gopalkrishanan
    Posted 06 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    BEST EXAMPLE OF RECYCLINGN :        A SINDHI GIVING A USED CONDOM TO HIS SON FOR MAKING A BALOON AND  AFTER BRUSTING TO HIS DAUGHTER TO USE AS A HAIR BAND

    - SHANDILAYA by shandilaya
    Posted 04 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    SANTAS WIFE LOOKING AT TRAVEL BOOK  SAID : LETS TRY GREECE THIS YEAR 

    SANTA ASKED : WHY, WHATS WRONG WITH VASELINE
    - SHANDILAYA by shandilaya
    Posted 04 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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    judge: why did you beat your husband wiyh chair

    wife: because i could"nt lift the table with my hands
    - shandilaya by shandilaya
    Posted 04 May 2008 & favorite of (1) members
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